This was something that you might have already had circulated to you, but it was new to me and I thought it was hilarious.

Dear Pets:

When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The hallway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.

Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball.

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

I …

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Him name is hopkin green frog.

Sure you've all seen Sarah Silverman's "I'm F@#king Matt Damon" video, but have you seen Jimmy Kimmel's response? It's fantastic, just ask Don Cheadle.

Now this is something I can get behind. No more LOL.

Here’s a great ad for Wonderbra.

I love Mr. T. I’m exactly the right age to be able to remember the A-Team, but I’m most fond of the stuff he’s done lately. The episode of Late Night with Conan O’Brien where he and Conan go apple picking had me in tears. He actually pitied apples into dropping into his basket. Anyway, take a peek at this World of Warcraft Promo that he did recently. Mr. T and Warcraft? Who knew…

For some reason this made me giggle like a little girl.

Okay, so he could stand to lose a few pounds. Let’s just say I couldn’t do up the bottom snap. But damn if this isn’t cute. Actually it was much cuter with the hood on and the antennae sticking out of the top of it, but he acted like the hood was trying to kill him so I took pity. And I may have pulled an abdominal muscle laughing as he shuffled backwards in circles trying to walk out of the thing. Some say it’s cruel, but I say looking good comes at a price.

This is what I go through most mornings. Anyone who has a cat can relate to how real this is.